Thursday, April 05, 2007

In My Life Today 7

Last year at about this time, I was working in a residency program. At the back of my mind, I was thinking of taking the USMLEs. But beyond the mundane power trips at the office and the endless stream of indigent patients, I worked without any qualms whatsoever.

12 months later, what happened to all that?

I came across Louise's triumphant post about giving everything up to Jesus.

Then I evaluated myself today.

Had to take a leave from work because of depression. Failed USMLEs under my belt. And recent recipient of an operative scar due to a freak medical condition.

Is it because of a lack of faith?

I may be a little imperious for declaring, but NO, I don't think so. I have never been closer to God in my 26 years of existence.

Then, it came to me. All of my blessings were in disguise.

I did not ask to be accelerated. I did not ask to qualify for the INTARMED program. And I was not fervent enough in my prayers during the Philippine Boards.

Yet I was given all these, and more.

So I guess a little perspective change is in order. From now on, I will not actively pursue any course of action if it will be to the detriment of my health. If my destiny confines me to the Philippines, then so be it.

Even as I declare this, I will not make any 180-degree turns and say that we have to be patriotic and serve the country. I still maintain that Filipino doctors, because of the average Filipino's myopic view on health care, are not adequately compensated for the work that they do. Those that are well paid usually are super specialists, or "pillars" who work well beyond retirement.

If, in the future, I would be given by our Saviour the chance to work in a better environment, I would gladly accept it. I have never questioned the validity of His plans; maybe only the timing of events. And for that I am truly sorry.

I still hold on to the prophetic pronouncement of Prof. Arnold Esguerra, who has transcended his role from being a teacher to a friend. He said that in order for my dreams to come to fruition, some degree of temperance should be obtained first.

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Boracay is all the rage these days. I remember when I was still studying that my classmates would pester me with questions about the island. All I said was that it was 1 1/2 hours away, congested with all those foreigners, and with prices in dollars.

I am tempted to castigate all those party people for disturbing the peace - on Holy Week. I do not want to sound like some religious zealot, but I think it would be proper to at least ask for some sobriety during this critical event in the Roman Catholic religious calendar.

I do not think that rave parties equate to fasting and penance. And we call ourselves the only Roman Catholic country in Asia.

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