Saturday, April 28, 2007

Back to be fried again... 2!

The '2' refers to this post predated by an earlier post, which was written at the tail-end of a sick leave.
As the years go by, the windows of opportunity start closing one by one. I will equip myself with what is needed to get through one of those windows, and even if I find the exact same circumstances, at least I would be compensated properly.
In this six months of 'limbo' I have seen windows close more often than not. Optimistically, the "years" have not gone by yet. And there is still hope for a better life, even if it would take on another form. But for the meantime at least, I am staring at the exact same circumstances that pushed me to the edge and almost made me throw away everything I worked for.

It won't be a junket, and I won't be as enthusiastic as before to go to Manila.
Hope I do get accepted so I could have an excuse to stay in Manila for much longer. Hehehe.
Long have I realized that I will return to a place where some people think that they are better than others.

If only people understand that
There has been no other human endeavor more exhausting, frustrating and thankless than practicing medicine in that hospital.
then they would cut me some slack and wonder about the sorry state of health care in the Philippines.

It is to my parents' credit that I was raised with some class and abide by the contractual agreement to return after the unpaid leave. I did promise, and even waited 3 weeks for my leave to be approved by the Personnel Board. I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst - with an unsympathetic administration and colleagues always giving our department a hard time. But those are the breaks, I guess.

I think this is what Prof. Arnold Esguerra means by me having to learn some temperance. To moderate my various motivations and lofty aspirations into a concerted effort towards a goal rooted in reality.

I am sure I do not need to practice temperance in a classical sense. Besides, I don't think I need to be an ascetic to be adequately compensated as a doctor.

A total of 17 years in public schools and back-breaking work in two state hospitals have made me create a relevant vision statement for myself:
I am a competent physician, in the service of family and friends.
And so I return to the roasting pit, not as a broken man, but with some hope that at least I could salvage some experience from all that work ahead of me.

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