Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Why Sabotage Yourself?

Kai has a curious blog entry: Saboteur.
Ever feel so brain-numbingly bored that you feel the urge to self-destruct?

And I had to reply to a fellow Intarkid:
Don't self destruct... what is more helpful when you're in extreme boredom is to return to what you love when you were not yet an intarkid. I kept my sanity by playing my computer games and rediscovering new ones. Not the retarded Ragnarok or DOTA, but the old-school Family Computer games. On my PC, of course. But I digress. Do NOT, under any circumstances, sabotage yourself.

To elaborate:

If you speed through life without any effort, like me, or even with the drive and the passion to excel above everybody else, like some of my classmates, you have to burn out sooner or later. Unless you recharged along the way and found purpose. But the INTARMED program may not allow you to do that. Sure, you could always feign interest in the Wednesday IPC sessions and promise to be a respectful, insightful doctor WHO WILL STAY IN THE PHILIPPINES AFTER GRADUATION. Try recalling that thought after seeing all by yourself 15 patients on any given weekday morning at the Family Med OPD, or at 6AM while on duty at the Surgery ER on a payday weekend.

You burn out. And you feel the effects of chronic fatigue syndrome. Been there, done that.

Try reclaiming the lost portion of your life, as I am trying to do so now. Our inability to "stop and smell the flowers", growing hideously unprepared for society and its onerous demands on doctors. I can hear my unnamed classmate now: They pay us so little, yet trust us with their lives.

And so an escape for me would be to start up my emulators, so that I can play my Family Computer and Sega Genesis again, as well as the superb Final Fantasy remakes on the Game Boy Advance. You could do yoga, as suggested by Thea, or you could watch TV all day, hoping that an episode of Grey's Anatomy would show the answer.

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