Thursday, September 21, 2006

Read between the lines

I have received word that this humble blog is being read by some of my former co-workers. For that I thank you. My comments may be misread and some may decry the lack of clarity or details, but I prefer that some people who read will only come to understanding if they have all the information at hand. Or, to put it in another perspective, not everyone has to know all the sordid details that brought me to some life-changing decisions. The case in point was something I said here. Maybe I should qualify the passage

"and the Chief Resident who did nothing but pass on his work to his subordinates, and held no responsibility or accountability, went on AWOL and never came back"

to

"while I was never treated like dirt as other first year residents in comparable programs, the humiliation of being castigated week in and week out at countless Pre-op/Post-op Conferences and Consultant Rounds without any guidance from the operator..."

But I will hold my piece. Those in the know will be able to discern and read between the lines.

I remember my resignation letter, and I said that

"I have been presented with opportunities that better meets my needs and career goals."

This could not have been further from the truth.
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I was able to visit my former haunt, I mean hospital, today. Although a lot has changed, I was comforted by the fact that a lot of the staff still recognized me. Hopefully they did not recall me, greet me, and muttered something bad when they have gotten out of earshot. :) I had some sort of comparison survey going on, and looked over to see if the Medicine table had some action at 1:30 PM. There were no panicking companions, no intubatable or crashing patients, and certainly no resident. Siesta time perhaps?

My high school classmate who was on OPD duty had to be summoned from other parts of the hospital so that I could talk to her. And she was a ready source of information, keeping me up to speed on some information about the hospital. The only motivation I have to seek out such tidbits is the thought that one day I would still return in another capacity, and I might not be able to recoginze the inner workings of the hospital. Politics is a subtly nasty beast, some would say.

I was also reminded that it was not the workload per se that made me pack up and leave. But that is another topic for another time.
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Update on the exit strategy: Yes, I have an algorithm, and it is dependent on some things happening within the next month. My father advised me, in this fast-paced world where dynamic people are on top, to use the "vertical movement" to my advantage. Gather skills and move laterally to other, more favorable locales. The monetary investment seems to be another matter altogether.

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