Thursday, July 20, 2006

How to Tell...

In a flash of serendipity, I did a Google search on "How to Tell if [someone is] Gay". One of the top hits is an article from Dear Reid, entitled
How to tell if your friend is gay
The Sterotypical Neatness Test

This is less of a test than an observational study. When attempting to judge if a male friend is gay, you can look for a few tell-tale signs. First, are his shirts ironed and tucked in properly? Do his socks match his shirt? Is his hair neatly trimmed, with sideburns that extend just below the ear? Is his living space in good order, with a tightly made bed and very little dirty laundry on the kitchen floor? Does he often act effeminate, using language such as “sweetie” and “honey” while pronouncing his “S”’s with a slight lisp? And finally, does he appear to clean under his fingernails? If there isn’t a significant amound of dirt under at least two or three of his fingernails, there is a very good chance that your friend is gay.
So I guess I failed the test. My dorm room, or at least my side of the room, looks more like the Hanoi Hilton than The Darlington Hyde Park.

I'd rather pass the Mensa qualifying instead.

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